What do you think of this book beginning?

TWO: because the ghost is gangster-style-ish, we should call this book 'The Gangster Bloke Who Wanders Where He is Not Welcome and Then Turns Out To Be a Ghosty-Spirity-Type…THING.' Now… for the made up story… ... So, one very sunny day, we arrived at our hotel deluxe in the heart of China. The hotel was called The Enchanted Victory, only in Chinese (that, my friend, is pronounced something like HDSAGDFHHIBBBESDOFGUSGE). After unpacking our bags, we went to bed-it was ...